Can someone tell me how to get an effing job?  Because no one is responding to my resumes.  I think I might just give up on the “real” job thing and just waitress.  At least I could pay the bills.  I mean, I’m going into my retirement savings for crap’s sake, just so I can pay the bills.  There’s also that pesky thing called feeding myself, which seems like more of a luxury.  And as a result of all this financial turmoil, even my stocks are losing money.  I’m so effing screwed, I’m not kidding.  Money is awful.  I really would rather not go back to the 24-hour diner thing again, but I’m desperate.  I’ll take the first thing that moves.  Would it be too much to ask for a little enjoyment with that too?  Seriously, though, I have a college degree.  Why is it not working out for me?  But when you’re worried about how you’re going to fill your tank, it’s hard to feel agressive and run after jobs- because that takes gas.  And sending resumes by email and internet surely isn’t working.

I did splurge on something though.  I bought a bike because it brings me joy.  I think there’s nothing better than riding a bike, and so, even in the midst of the bleakest time of my life as far as survival goes, I can at least go out and enjoy something, because I surely can’t enjoy things like movies and dining and beer anymore.  But it doesn’t help when I wipe out on said bike and bend my glasses and have to worry about possibly replacing them, even though this doesn’t seem like a high possibility right now.  I think the worst part about being on my own is that I constantly have money on my mind.  It won’t leave me alone.  It trails me in my sleep and sucks the life out of me.

The worst part about all this is that I end up being a moocher and feeling pathetic, loserish, like a failure, and really whiny.  Which I am, all of the above.

Oh, and I still haven’t paid my car tax.

So here’s to me, the broke loser.

I think I need to break out from the repeated posts about money and talk about how I broke into a retirement home today while I was canvassing for the Obama campaign.